It’s Sunday morning. Or maybe it’s afternoon. I don’t know and frankly, I don’t care. The sun is up, that means it’s day. I can’t sleep anymore although I went to bed only a few hours ago. I’m so tired and my head is pounding from dehydration. My mouth feels like something died in there. My body aches from top to bottom. I can feel my hair being stuck from yesterdays desperate attempt to put it in a nice bun or something flashy. It hurts… Ouch!
Do I dare looking back at that thing staring at me in the mirror? Black rings under the eyes – it’s not a pretty picture!
Slowly my memory comes flashing back and I remember all the embarrassing things I did the night before. I just want to crawl back under the covers and hide.
Yes, I am hungover! Terribly hungover!
I look outside. The sun is shinning. I should be outside enjoying it.
And then I see them…
I hate them…
I hate them so much…
I see two runners jogging along like it’s the most perfectly normal thing to be doing Sunday morning before anyone else is up (well, before I am up…).
Did I mention I hate them?
I used to hate them!
Today I embrace them. I even cheer them on. Especially the ones that are chubby or plain out fat. It’s such a shame that overweight people are laughed at when they do something good for themselves. I think many “fat” people are too self-conscious to exercise because they worry about what people might think.
Well here is what I think.
I think you are amazing! 💪🏻
Go out an exercise and be happy! Wobbly fat and everything! Who cares? As long as you are doing something good for yourself, then DO IT!! 👏🏻
In my previous life, I hated them. While I was destroying my body week after week with one binge drinking party after the other, they were out getting fresh air and doing something good for themselves. How could I not be jealous? Even worse was that I was medicating myself with gross greasy food while suffering with the never ending GUILT!
Luckily, I got real about how my lifestyle was destroying my body and my life, and I have stopped.
Now I am what I used to hate. I am out jogging (well, not actually, but figuratively) and doing something great for myself! ☺️
The sad news is that I am not sure I would have been able to change had I not been pregnant. I sometimes wish I had changed BEFORE pregnancy, so I could enjoy life in a different way before having children. But hey, I am eternally grateful to my sweet baby-boy, he changed my life! Thank you, Silas!
I really hope that if you can relate to my story that you are able to snap out of it before a major life-changing event like having children.
Enjoy life now!